What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
