Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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