God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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