Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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