i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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