worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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