What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
