so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Quick, to the slutcave!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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