yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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