You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
