if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
