After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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