I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
