dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Mom said you looked used
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
