I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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