my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
