She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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