Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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