Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I am one with the molecules
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
