We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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