I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm having to shit out rocks
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