I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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