Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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