Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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