Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
