bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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