And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
