After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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