Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Who died my cat blue again?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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