so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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