where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
