just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
