Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize