I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
