I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
