I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
