we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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