whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
