Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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