cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My vagina just clenched in fear
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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