this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
