bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
