She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
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Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
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I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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