with your own penis?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
