My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I need to calm my uterus...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
