1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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