how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my being single is dangerous.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
