ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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