Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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