It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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