why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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