she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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