Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
