i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
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alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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