Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
