He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
