There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
