Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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