You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
