Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
