Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
